How to Be an Artist…

  1. Memorise some intelligent cultural facts in order to impress whenever a social situation calls
  2. Ensure that your home is full of old clutter and that nothing looks new or shiny
  3. Have a cat, or have several cats
  4. Inside the art studio, wear an over-sized shirt, or preferably a smock, but be sure to cover it in painty finger marks
  5. Outside the art studio, ensure that you have paint in your unruly hair and choose a selection of clothes that don’t match or better still, completely clash with each other.
  6. Accessories should include fingerless gloves, a woolly hat or an over-sized scarf, along with a mysterious, tatty looking sketchbook
  7. Maintain an air of mystery at all times. Never give too much away
  8. Always pronounce your T’s, roll your ‘R’s
  9. Swap the word ‘yes’ for ‘yah’
  10. Never look at a digital device in public. Instead, either appear to be doing something mysterious in your sketchbook or pretend to be reading a classic Jane Austin novel
  11. Eat only vegan food in public
  12. Drink wine – And lots of it

Or…

  1. Just draw

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